ERROTIC AND SENSUEL MASSAGE

 Erotic massage is a wonderful way to relax, connect, and explore pleasure with a lover or intimate friend. On the path of Tantra, we enjoy coming together to honour and celebrate the body as a temple of delight. This experience will allow you to explore erotic energy in new ways and is also a wonderful prelude to lovemaking. Learn six benefits of erotic massage.

Preparation

Prepare a warm, quiet, comfortable place where you won't be disturbed for the next 2 hours. Make sure all phones are turned off. Light some candles and put on some relaxing, romantic music.

The Heart Salutation

Begin with the heart salutation. It is an ancient tantric practise for acknowledging the Divine in each other as you enter sacred time. Sit across from your partner and look into their eyes. Maintain eye contact throughout the rest of the process. Extend your arms towards the earth, palms together. Inhale, and, keeping your hands together, bring them to your heart. Exhale as you bow forward and acknowledge the Divine in each other. Inhale as you straighten back up. Finally, exhale as you allow your hands to return to the starting position, pointed towards the earth.

The Bubble

The bubble calls you into present-moment awareness and creates a safe space in which to offer an erotic massage. Make a bubble around you and your partner with your arms so that it surrounds both of you. Remove things from the bubble that won't serve this process (the past, distractions, anger, worry, etc.). Do this with a gesture, as if physically removing an object, while stating out loud what you are removing. Next, bring things into your bubble that will enhance your connection (love, willingness, presence, trust, etc.). Once again, use gestures and spoken words. Here are two examples:

"I release the past."

"I call in passion."

Share Your Desires, Fears, and Boundaries

Once the bubble is created, share your desires, fears, and boundaries related to giving and/or receiving an erotic massage. One person speaks while the other person listens without judgement or commentary. Then switch roles. Here is an example of Sensuel Massage.

"My desire is to stay connected to erotic energy."

"My greatest fear is that I will fall asleep and you will be hurt or disappointed."

"My boundary is to finish this practise by 11 p.m.."

Healthy Boundaries

People often think of boundaries as walls. Healthy boundaries are actually bridges that bring people together. Intimacy arises when healthy boundaries are honored. You feel safe; you are open and present. Boundaries can change, so check in periodically to see how you are feeling. If your boundary has changed, tell your partner. Please, don't expect them to read your mind.

Giving an Erotic Massage

Decide who will give and who will receive. Invite the receiver to lie face-down on a massage table, bed, or blanket on the floor. Make sure they are warm and comfortable. The giver then grounds himself or herself and gently lays their hands on the receiver. Recognize that this is a unique opportunity to honour and serve your beloved. Attune yourself to the receiver. One way to attune is by breathing with them for a few minutes.

Begin to awaken their skin by lightly stroking it with feathers, fur, or the tips of your fingers. When you are ready, cover their body with warm oil. Use long, slow massage strokes. You are massaging more than the surface of their body. You are connecting with them on multiple levels. Encourage them to take deep breaths, make sounds, and move their bodies. This allows the energy in the body to awaken, move, and release. Use different parts of your body—your hair, arms, and chest—to massage your partner. Be playful, curious, and creative.

About half-way through the allotted time, invite the receiver to roll over. Massage the front of their bodies with warm oil, again using long strokes. Tone their body and use sounds like "ahh," "yum," or "oh" to introduce sound in a new way.This can be a powerful tool for activating your partner's energy body.

When they feel ready, offer to explore their genitals. In SkyDancing Tantra, we call the vagina "Yoni," which means "Cosmic Matrix," and the penis "Vajra," which means "Thunderbolt." Begin on the outside of the genitals with oil. At first, be gentle and go slow. Allow them time to release any tension in the area. Listen to their bodies. Watch them respond and become aroused. Focus on what gives them pleasure. Try different strokes. Again, be creative. If you are going to do internal massage, use a water-based lubricant. How much pleasure can they allow? Are they open to exploring the possibility of multiple orgasms?

Close by spooning together and connecting your heart centres with love, compassion, and gratitude. Help them to sit up and end with a heart salutation. Offer them water or juice to drink and a chocolate or piece of fruit to eat. You may want to share what this experience was like for you. How was it to give and/or receive in this way?

The following are six advantages of erotic massage:

1) It stimulates the senses and promotes whole-body healing.

2) It allows you to explore pleasure in new and creative ways.

3) It uses eye contact, connected breathing, and touch to enhance intimacy.

4) It creates a conscious connection between the giver and the receiver.

5) It uses breath, sound, and movement to awaken the full-body orgasm.

6) It dissolves the illusion of separation, allowing oneness to emerge